Always looking for the good firsts

Have you had any life changing firsts lately? Firsts are life moments when you do something for the FIRST time. For me as a dad, most of the firsts I now celebrate are things my kids do for the 1st time. Brianna saying dadda.....that's a melt your heart first. Isaiah scoring 4 goals in a soccer game- his first "hat trick" (a hat trick is when 1 person scores 3 goals in hockey NOT soccer, but I'm not going to tell him that)....that's a proud dad moment. Or Micah going to preschool for the 1st time. These are moments that you seem to remember with a picture like quality to them. You basically can't help but smile.

I mean...look at this face, AND she says dadda. HOW am I EVER going to be able to say no....

I'm in sooo much trouble

In life, we definitely cherish many of these positives firsts. However, this last year, my family experienced some difficult firsts. My dad passed away in February and Bec's mom passed away in May. Dates on the calendar have been different b/c we are doing something for the first time without a loved one.

This last Sunday was a REALLY tough first that I've been dreading for a long time. My first Packer game Sunday without my dad here. That's right, I was dreading the start of the football season....ME....a HUGE Packers fan.

Generally the new football season is something I look forward to with GREAT excitement. This year was different. Very different. I have lots of people I talk to a little bit about the Packers, but my dad was that person I talked about EVERYTHING Packers to. The first big play- I would send a text. At halftime, I would be making a phone call to recap what happened. After the game, we would talk about what could be different next week.

This day was different. Dad is now in Heaven instead of yelling at the TV. I know for sure it would be the most relaxed Packer Sunday he's ever had. He wouldn't be mad at the defense or giving up on Coach McCarthy.

And while that is comfort for me, how do people get through those negative FIRST firsts?!? My first Sunday wasn't easy, BUT there were a few things that made it easier. I held Brianna a lot. The most recent blessings in my house that I had, I held close. I also remembered my dad with our lunch food choice. Hot ham and cheese sandwiches- the meal my family would pick up on the way home from church for our Packer Sundays. Finally, I had Isaiah reminding me how nice the day was and how I should get outside. See that's the thing- in this life we are assured that we are going to lose people we love. We will probably always grieve not having them here with us- but that doesn't mean we shouldn't hold tighter and appreciate the blessings we still have. 

That's probably what I kept thinking about the most. Sometimes we cling to things SO tightly-whether it's people or tradition or things. But life is meant to change. Will we not be able to see what is ahead if we keep looking behind? Even in His own ministry, Jesus struggled with this. Peter did this in the book of Matthew. Peter gets to be one of the disciples that sees Jesus in His FULL glory. Jesus shone like the sun and His clothes were white as light. What does Peter want to do? Build an altar, set up some shelters, and STAY! Peter isn't focused on showing others Jesus or telling them what he has seen. Peter instead wants to stay RIGHT where he is at.

This Sunday, I had a choice. Every time something in the Packer game happened, I could have been discouraged I didn't have my dad to talk about it with. WELL the reality is, every Packer game from now on will be that way. So I need to find a new way. Nothing will replace what I had with my dad, but I can certainly have new Sunday Packer traditions.

And that brings it full circle. I need to let myself experience NEW firsts. They will be different, but they can still be good. My dad has his best Packer Sunday ever. Why? Because, he is in Heaven. It didn't matter who won on the field. Jesus won the victory over death and the devil and my dad believed in that. What could be better than that?

Nothing.

So my prayer going forward is to keep focusing on the GOOD firsts. Keep LOOKING for them. Hold tightly and enjoy the blessings I have. I may no longer get to spend my Sundays texting my dad about a Packer game, but I have a God whose still sitting on the couch beside me.